Out loud she said, "Yes, he is. I've always thought so." "Do you think you'll have some pie?" her mom asked. "I mean, you must be watching your weight more than ever now." "What do you mean?" "Well, Simon, of course." Her mother laid dessert plates on the tray. "You want to look your best for him, don’t you?" "He likes me the way I am," Connie managed to sputter out. "Of course, he does, dear," said Lydia. "But it never hurts to be in shape. Women do a lot to keep men happy, you know. I go to the gym every day to keep fit for your father. Clothes, too. We should go shopping while you're here." She poured cream from a carton into a pitcher and set it on the tray. "Right." The implications made Connie feel ill. You're not pretty enough for Simon, her mother was saying. Better dress the part if you don’t want to lose him. "I think long dresses are back in style," Lydia went on. "And I've seen some lovely slacks and outfits in the stores. I know you don't go in for short styles, and I. " "Is it hard to keep your two lives apart?" I asked. "Sometimes," she said. "But let's not talk about that. I want to be here in the present. I love fucking you and what happened here has nothing to do with the rest of my life." At dinner that night we had Blue fish cooked on the barbecue wrapped in aluminum foil and filled with peppers, tomatoes and onions. Jenny sat with her sister and Marci and hardly paid attention to me, except for a few glances. Jenny baffled but also intrigued me. She seemed able to keep her secret life separate from her public life. The fact that she was getting married in a few weeks and felt no guilt for our wild secret fucking was not an issue for her. I remember the passionate way she said, "But I love my secret life. I love my body, my mind, my freedom. I don’t belong to anyone and no one can stop me from being me." No one had a clue what was going on between us. Except for a few glances and a slight smile, we were two people at opposite ends of the.
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